For I have taken her lips
(Jigoku Shoujo/Hell girl fan fiction by MikoKriszty)

I knew it would come down to this.

(they’re crawling, oh god, I feel my stomach, I actually feel my insides)

Even though I was aware that eternal doom and suffering would be my reward, I still had to do it.

I regret nothing. I feel knives drive in my back, then turn into disgusting bugs and start feasting on my flesh. I do not scream; but I flatter myself not. It’s not my willpower that saves me from the sharp voice… It’s the fact that I am able to scream no more. (no, please, don’t, it hurts, it hurts so much) An eternity ago, when I had just got here, I did… I shrieked and cried and shouted and pleaded and yelled and finally whimpered and whispered until I destroyed my vocal cord. It only took a day and a half in my new… Residence.

Hell.

It took some time getting used to this place. In the beginning I cried a lot, and tried to rid myself from all the endless and consuming pain – only to calm down and somewhat get used to it.

(pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease)

One can never get used to this, after all…

Of course I still plead for all this to stop – but I only wish for the pain to go away. If someone came up to me and told me that they could save me, but it would cost me my memory of that one experience – I would laugh out loud, and tell them to piss off.

For Hell is worth it.

Even though I think I have lost my smile – I cannot feel my lips, I cannot feel anything but pain – I have not regretted it for one second. Not when I was thrown in hot lava, not when corpses were feasting on my refusing body, not when I hallucinated my loved ones suffering.

(why don’t I ever pass out? why can’t I sleep? my body is so exhausted, I feel like I die again and again)

I have lost my mind pretty quickly. No one could endure this AND still remain sane. Sooner or later, everyone end up losing it.

Even in my confused mind, whenever I think about it, I still know – and I suspect this is my only sane thought –: if the situation arose again, I would do exactly the same.

I tasted the forbidden fruit. I am a weak man, for I could not resist a temptation. And I’m a fool, for I feel no regret.

For I have taken Enma Ai’s lips.